‘Angle Shades’ rearing diary (Pale Mottled Willow)
24 August 2016
27 eggs laid in a tube in the fridge. (It was the day everything was yellow...)
So, on 24 August the Angle Shades laid a trail of 27 tiny yellow eggs round the inside of the pot while in the fridge. Immediately alarmed and conscious-stricken, after the Skye episode where the Emperor moth suddenly buzzed out of the undergrowth, crawled on to my foot, and started laying!
I looked it up and got some e-advice and I think the simplest thing is to just leave them in the tube and let them hatch, and then feed them and try to rear some.
I wish I had a macro lens. In the last three days the eggs have already changed colour. At first they looked yellow, but through the loup they were creamy white and ridged like spiky domes. Today, a reddish brown ring has appeared round the top of most or all of them.
I did try to free a few when I found them first, and put them on a leaf in panic, but the brittleness made it feel wrong, and the next day, the leaf inevitably having curled up in the heat, I returned them to the bottle. But these ones are of course loose at the bottom of the jar, not stuck to the walls like the rest. They might even be upside down, I don't know if this makes a difference. But I will try and document the progress, and hope not to harm life along the way. Which is quite an ask. If many hatch, I will put some back in the wild and only try to rear a couple. Late August, so it might be all through the year like my first/last caterpillar.
Stupidly, not having learned from Skye, I tried to move some onto a leaf in another container. But they are stuck to the container by a brittle glue. I put them on a leaf in an open container, thinking to give them space, and not gas them with a lid. Then read the best thing is to leave them til they hatch. So I tried to put them back! 5 eggs rattling at the bottom of the tube, probably already compromised. Left them in the back shady room with the lid ajar.
30 August
Today, 6 days later, one has hatched. TINY translucent trace in the jar, (possibly already trying to eat another egg!) Prepared another container with oak leaf and toothpick to transfer it to - then thought I should try and get an 'eggs in tube' shot, quite hard to focus as tiny and see through. Holding the tube up to the light, I DROPPED IT! HORRIBLE moment thinking I may already be standing on the tiny body of the first caterpillar in my scrabble to retrieve.
Of course the five eggs I liberated were scattered on the - dirty - pale wood floor - impossible to ever find. So definitely murdered them one way or another. it is SO EASY to destroy these things
(I trapped one of the Garden Carpets I was trying to release in the door on Saturday – didn't find it til I opened it in the morning: somehow I had squashed its tail in the seal of the door, thought I looked hard to see if all was clear. It began to flutter, but was clearly injured and later expired. So, no use to science which is why I had kept it in the first place, for the Rothamsted survey into climate change - but with the Bank Holiday and no communication I began to feel guilty about keeping them for over a week if they were not going to be used - and in the end I killed it.)
By some miracle the caterpillar was still there, clinging to the bottom of the tube. And now on an oak leaf in a new container. I don’t know what the tremendous bounce might do to the eggs remaining – I hope they will be able to survive. But how many will I blunderously damage in the process of trying to rear?
Later that night: All the others had hatched and were crawling around the tube, dangling from threads. The first one, in its own tub, had turned much darker. Does not seem interested in the oak leaf at all. I transferred about half of them, very gingerly with a toothpick, to another tube, with some cut up slices of bramble leaf.
31 August
They seem to love being at the top of the tube, crawling round the lid. Makes it very likely that some will get squashed if I need to open it. They don't seem interested in the leaves at all, but the first separate one has now started on the oak.
(2 September was Gran's funeral. Went to Dorset that Friday, came back Sunday. Before I went, I liberated 5 caterpillars onto oak and bramble leaves outside in Mews hedge. So tiny, will they ever survive? And 2 on terrace oak trees. Transferred 4 to a wider tub, and kept the first one on its own in the tube, so only 5 left).
4 Sep
Came back from Gran's funeral; the 4 caterpillars in the larger tub had died. But the first one to hatch, in its separate tube, was still ok. It hasn't seemed to eat any of the oak leaf apart from a tiny patch, but it seems a tiny bit bigger. The others were dried up specks, so small you could hardly see even with the loop.
I transferred it to a small apple leaf, the original oak being dry now after several days. I hope it will survive – I feel so guilty at wreaking death. It’s the last one of 27 eggs - I put 5 outside on the bramble and oak, and 2 on the terrace oak. But it was being severely policed by ants today and I wonder if they would kill them?
The 5 eggs I prised free got scattered when I dropped the tube. 2 died, and 2 I think I may have maimed in the first transfer, and I am not sure if all hatched, but it's still quite an attrition rate.
8 Sep
The caterpillar is 4mm. Twice as long, 10 segments. 3 at head end gone orangey, the rest is dotted translucent creamy green.
11 Sep
It's still alive. It seems to like the rose leaf I gave it several days ago; still on it though it's gone quite brown, ignoring pear and oak alternatives. Still TINY, but plenty of frass gives me hope that it's OK. Gave it another small oak leaf this eve as the rose is now practically all brown, but it is still staying on that, munching it rather than the fresh green. Will try and pick another from the same plant by the bus stop if I remember tonight. But on bike so probably won't.
20 Sep
Still on the old rose leaf, now completely dry & brown. I think it has shed a skin as there was a grey residue next to it this morning and it seems to now have tiny projecting hairs. The colour is a sort of liverish red. Yes, just saw the head case. It had eaten some of the second fresher leaf supplied 2 or 3 days ago, but maybe the skin shed explains its recent lack of movement. Put in another smaller leaf last night.
25 Sep
Eggs laid a month ago. Caterpillar approx 8-10mm long now, making good inroads into the 3rd rose leaf. Still seems to prefer the older dryer ones though. A big lump of frass among the usual scattering. Wondering if this is the residue of first moult & eating skin?
20 Oct
Exactly a month later and it has shed a skin again. I put it outside, still in the plastic tube with a few more leaves three days ago as it had become cold & we wanted to put the heating on. I was worried that it may have been too sudden a change (though it is protected on the terrace & under a bucket) but now realise the inactivity and lack of frass is down to the moult, probably. Now I come to think of it, yesterday morning there seemed to be a white gap at the back of the neck and the very black eye/head case was jutting forward; this must be the start of the moult. A blog I found said they live in the leaf litter overwinter, pupate about March and emerge poss. 6 weeks later (have to check that last bit)
16 Nov
Incident: caterpillar escaped while I left it open and went downstairs to get my phone for a photograph. Usually it has been more cautious but it got a lick on, and was clinging to the edge of the pale wooden table top, blending in. In trying to encourage it back onto a leaf, I dropped it! Vertical freefall - among a tangle of slipper, dressing gown. Couldn't see it anywhere, and was terrified of squashing it in the search. Eventually, saw it crawling between some books. I wonder if I need to move it to a larger container, does it need exercise? It has been raining a lot recently, and sometimes it leaks into the container, making the frass dissolve into a dark green soup but the caterpillar seems to be fine, I clean it out every day.
18 Nov
It has been wedged tightly between two leaves like a duvet for the last 2-3 days, no frass. The leaves seem to be attached together, so I cannot lift them off to see better, but I think it is another moult. It has been swelling - eating and pooing a lot - but there has been no movement or frass for the last couple of days. Tried to peer between just now and think I saw the tell tale lump of black skin, looks like cigarette ash.
From here on it has mostly been a photographic record. Feeding, growing, cleaning the frass. I have not witnessed another shedding, but there may have been one over the Christmas holidays and when we went to the Laker District at New Year. Feeding seemed slower (less frass) during the colder weather. It appears to be mainly active at night, and asleep during daylight.
February 23 2017
Storm Doris. The wind caught the plastic outer tub which blew off, and the tube containing the caterpillar blew around on the terrace for some time. Paul rescued it, and it appears unharmed.
5 March
However, shortly after that time, possibly around 25 February, and after feeding it several fresh dog-rose leaves from the park which it hardly nibbled at, the caterpillar created a sort of tent, by pulling down one of the leaves into a coracle shape over it, and has since been fairly inert, not feeding. It is not exactly spun, but it seems to have glued the edges of the leaf down with a residue of chewed particles and some elements of silk – it is difficult to see because, though the tube is on its side so I can look up at the caterpillar, I do not want to disturb it by opening it and lifting off the leaves. it has not yet chrysalised, but I am thinking this might be the beginning of the process. However, I was under the impression that it happens fairly rapidly, and this had been in the leaf-tent for over a week, and is not yet a chrysalis, still yellowish and soft looking.
27 March
Three weeks and not much change. It looks semi-chrysalised, but not the shellac hard case I was expecting. It looks shrunken and small, I cannot imagine an Angle Shades appearing from that tiny shape. I think it might have failed at this stage. A blog I found shows one taking half an hour to reach the deep brown colour on 17 March and hatching 30 days later.
29 March
I think it has failed. It was so close – maybe the wind blowing it around the terrace was too much. It hasn't chrysalised and it's been over a month. I think it must be dead, but do not want to disturb it in case. I wonder if it had enough air, or water (or exercise?) Perhaps I should have transferred it to a bigger box when it had grown. The guilt and responsibility is difficult. Small failure.
We went away on Friday 31 March for a long weekend, fine warm Spring weather, a late Spring. Blossom full and all at once this year. We came back today, 1 April in the evening, and - the 'pillar has chrysalised! There is a tell-tale cigarette ash tracing of old skin so it must have shed, and the body is pale but definitely pupated. So relieved – I nearly tipped it onto the mulberry tree pot for the ants before we went away. So that took nearly a month of inertness and not eating, barely spun a cocoon, but it is still alive and on its way!
Tomorrow morning I will check if the colour has deepened, photograph it, and in a few days, CAREFULLY move it to a bigger container so that it will have room to emerge.
24 May
It emerged. And it was NOT an Angle Shades after all, but a Pale Mottled Willow! I am not sure how to explain this. I KNEW it would emerge on 24 May somehow, partly because the weather suddenly became warm after three days of solid rain, but also because all its other changes, moultings and so on happened on that day of the month.
So...how is it a Pale Mottled Willow?
The 24th August was an amazing moth day, I got overexcited and put some in the fridge to go to Woodberry I think, and when I came back, there were all these eggs round the small tube that the Angle Shades was in. Were there two moths in the tube, did I forget? I have had my doubts about the exact species, because the chrysalis was so small - and I wondered if I had damaged it somehow by keeping it in a tube, dry and so on? Now I understand why it liked the rose leaves….
2. Dark/Common Marbled Carpet, Skye – London
It was the last day of our holiday in Skye, staying in the magnificent Shed, staring out towards the islands of Eig, Muck and Rhum on the horizon. I have just realised that that was exactly three years ago to the day - strange how I had the urge to write this story finally, today. I think it just be some kind of subconscious seasonal reminder or memory, in the weather, or the light, or the plants.
It was our second visit, the first had been in a heatwave in May and I luxuriated in the wealth of moth species I encountered, hairy woodland ones, the Empress of course, common in this area but fabulous to me, and even, managed to record some unusual species new to Skye (beginners luck, or rather the perks of searching in an under recorded area - Since then, many of the few remaining ‘White Holes’ - gaps on the map have been filled in as SpringWatch, the new nature writing, Big Butterfly Count, and the growing popularity of Moth Night and the Garden Moth Scheme have encouraged a significant growth in the number of people recording their local species)
This was early September, and a completely different set of creatures to encounter.
Packing up the trap and paraphernalia from the final night in that slightly regretful mood after a really fantastic break, I discovered some eggs had been laid in a tube where I had briefly retained a Dark Marbled Carpet to photograph. I took a few more pictures of the mother with the eggs before releasing her, and then simply packed the tube untouched.
Back home, I simply put the tube outside my terrace, and forgot about it. I had read that this species overwinters as an egg, but I had not much hope of them surviving. It rolled around in the wind and the rain all winter and I forgot about it.
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The eggs were laid on 4 September on a blustery day in Skye.
Two Dark Marbled Carpets, temporarily housed (trapped?) in bottles to photograph, both laid eggs. Pale lemon little eggs - about ten in one, and six in the other tube.
As last time we were in Skye, when the Emperor moth laid her eggs on my foot, I did not know what to do. but at least I knew not to suffocate them with a leaf in the tiny space as before. When we left for home on 15 September, I just packed the bottles and took them with me. I put them out on to the terrace, and over the course of the winter, they got blown around, rained on, and buried in snow.
I had read that they overwinter as eggs, and I have begun to get a feel for the resilience of moths, so I looked at them occasionally, but did not really think they would survive. A few turned dark brown, and I did see some changes in the others, so I had an open mind.
26 March
A glorious spring day, not long after a week of late snow.
The feeling for Spring was strongly stirring, and we opened the terrace door for the first time in a while. Checking the bottles idly, I noticed a bit of condensation and what looked like a tiny yellow stamen. Then I noticed an empty egg case. The specks are tiny - approximately 2mm across. in the bead of rainwater or condensation I noticed two curled up yellow forms, and picked them out on a tissue. I thought they must have drowned, but after hunting for my magnifying glass to look at the first stick, I realised they had crawled away!
I watched another erupt and crawl out of its egg case - tiny, thread like inch worm. So delicate, so full of life force. Five in total.
I was a week into a bad bout of flu, but the sudden responsibility, and the spring weather sent me outside hunting for sallow (willow), or birch twigs to feed them on. Living with a 'tree expert' as I do, I should be more confident of my identifications, but I could find no leaves in the paper birches in Elthorne Park (non native anyhow), and only Blackthorn and hazel are just coming in to leaf. I could see one goat willow, but it's furry buds were far too high up and inaccessible. (Now I think in fact I will try blackthorn on them, too).
I found a tiny bud on a birch sapling in the estate ( pointed to by Paul) but I don’t think it is a native one, and the leaves all sticky. They did not seem to touch it. Parkland Walk to nearly the studio but I could not see any willow catkins - but I was streaming with cold and probably not got my eye in.
27 March 7am.
Pouring with rain, and the return with a vengeance of my flu.
Eagerly I picked up the acrylic box with the caterpillar in to have a scan. Immediately I felt the lid slide and I just knew that I may have caused some damage. Sure enough, one of the tiny creatures was just at the intersection of lid and base and seemed to have got slightly caught by the movement. Aaargh. I have learned by now about the resilience of moths, but also the incredible clumsiness of this human, I had crippled it and it later died.
The other four were showing no interest in the birch leaf, and seemed to be scanning the perimeters of the box looking for a way out. They are tiny tiny yellow inchworms, almost harder to see with the naked eye than the eggs. That colour must explain the Latin name citrata.
When they sense movement they freeze, elongated into upstanding fronds, strangely dog like in this habit. Paul having sourced some pussy willow, I can see how these little fronds are very like the spikes of the furry buds, only these are a little greener. They have crawled onto it but I am not sure if they can eat it.
One was still trying to escape, and another one fell off the bud it had crawled onto after a day, dead.
28 March
This morning there are three then, still. I am going to try introducing some blackthorn leaf today. The guilt is tremendous, the control over their life, and the feeling of not quite knowing what they need, only how sensitive they are. Can these tiny threads be affected by viruses for instance?
In adding the blackthorn leaf, the twig of willow rolled slightly, and one of the caterpillars, which was standing upright with front legs just on to the buds, lay flat as if knocked out.
I removed the two dead ones now, one expired, one maimed, but left this one hopefully, though no sign of movement, laid in the leaf and put the box back. Half witted with sickness, I have to stop myself worriting the box, however carefully and just let them be. It has been grey and rainy, and I wonder if the other eggs might hatch and if they need sunshine, or a temperature drop.
Later, the stretched out third caterpillar has disappeared. The other two are more or less where they were dangling before, but no sign of this one. Hopeful. But I stop myself from disturbing the stick and leaves to look for it. Could the others eat it? But they seem hardly to have moved from their stations.
1 April
Flu rather took its toll for the last couple of days, I just looked at them a couple of times. I think they may be nocturnal. Today two caterpillars have hatched in one of the bottles. One unfortunately is already expired, a dryer darker saffron colour. Perhaps I did not check yesterday. I lift the other one carefully on a soft paintbrush and add it to the container, on the blackthorn leaf. still no sign of the third caterpillar. I am sure I did not remove it.
But there is definite frass (caterpillar poo) on the blackthorn leaf. And the other two are larger to prove it. They do not seem to move far from their 'anchored place' but they are definitely eating, and using the willow as a sort of cradle or bed, as they hang off the spikes which camouflage them. The first two are approx.6-7mm long now, bright yellow threads, the new one is about half that. I hope it survives.
The Dark Marbled Carpet, Chloroclysta citrata citrata Skinner (Manley 2015 says Dysstroma citrata)
Very similar to Common Marbled Carpet, but the lower edge of the central median line usually has a more pronounced central point.
Single brooded. Moorland and woodland. "Rather local in southern England, otherwise a widespread and moderately common species throughout the British Isles." (Skinner).
Overwinters as an egg.
Larva: April - June on sallow, birch, bilberry and wild strawberry.
I used to have a wild strawberry plant - I wonder if it is still going outside?
They are definitely Dark, rather than Common Marbled Carpets, as they overwintered as eggs, and the Commons do so as small larvae.
3 June
The second caterpillar - the larger , stronger, greener one which always stayed on top of the leaves visible, has stuck two leaves together and hidden inside overnight. The other - paler, smaller and more shy - always hiding among the leaves, did that a week ago, around 26 May I think. 30 May at the latest. I only saw them shed the skin once, but this looks like pupation.
I wonder if they will be affected by the leaves withering? As I presume they would stay green when attached to the tree.
First one emerged 15 June
Second one 22 June
3 weeks in the chrysalis. I have taken photos of most of the stages. The colour goes in to the wings so fast. They seem to emerge at night, I would love to have seen the process but each time, they have been fully formed in the morning.
3. Peppered moth
August 2018
There is a Peppered Moth caterpillar, cryptically grey-black like a twig on the tiny Hazel tree on our terrace. I spotted it on 28 July when chopping the dead twigs, luckily, did not harm it. They are strange, with cat-like heads, and an enormous rubbery set of back legs which clamp on to the twig like an oversized trainer. It sticks out straight, pretending to be another twig, whihc is how I nearly chopped it.
40mm long today.
I don't think I will be able to observe this one's whole process as they pupate in the ground (unless I can be present when it tries to do this, or if it tries to leave the Hazel pot which is not large) They emerge in the early Spring I think.
8 August evening.
The Peppered Moth caterpillar was dangling from the Hazel on a thread. The thread so fine it was invisible. These caterpillars can stay still for AGES when they sense movement. I watched for a long time and it didn't move, and then went inside. Coming out a few minutes later, it had descended to the ground, the earth inside the pot and was flailing angrily as it was being attacked by ants. There are so many ants in the pots on our terrace, longstanding nests which it might be time to do something about. I don't know how big this species gets before it pupates, but at 40mm it doesn't look fat and ready. At first I thought it was trying to pupate, often the behaviour is to march off looking for a suitable place. Then I thought perhaps it is trying to escape the ants, which patrol the tree. I intervened and placed a leaf for it to crawl on, as it did not seem to be winning with the ants. I placed the leaf on a pot with a small chestnut tree in it, wondering if it might burrow into that ant free ground. But it marched off. I was torn between wanting to see the process of chrysalisation and emergence - it would be WONDERFUL to see the snowy, flecked adult emerge in early Spring, but it didn't feel right to trap it as it was very active. Paul persuaded me to release it in Elthorne Park across the road, so we went on a night time wander, and left it among some low brambles in an overgrown spot.
Peppered moth caterpillar under ant attack, 08 August 2018
4. Angle Shades 2020 – 21
Second Angle shades caterpillar diary, the real ones this time!
22 May
87 eggs laid in a tube this morning.
1-2 June
Hatched = 10 days. Distributed some among nettles in the Parkland Walk, some on our little oak and some outside on Craig’s larger one. First moulting overnight of 14 June, 2 seen pale and stretched out on base of jar, looking with loupe saw tiny headcases and one ‘pillar seems to be eating the discarded skin. At this stage they are approx.5-6mm long. Some in other jars seem much longer so may have already moulted.
16 June
5 died, possibly in the heat. Think it was the ones I saw pupating. I had them, covered with card on the little metal outside table, but I think the sun hit them slantwise. Have transferred the rest to two tubes and added more bramble. Worrying about lack of air. May need to decant them soon into something larger. Approx. 20 left that I could see.
16 July
About four moults by now - they change colour! Some go bright green! And then seem to yellow with dark red flecks becoming more prominent as they settle into the next instar. I have photographed regularly, and now that they are bigger, have a couple of fab shots of ash-like discarded skins, showing the empty prolegs and even front true legs, all preserved. Plus a large collection of different sized headcases. Today I realised that one is curled up with the old headcase at its centre - I have seen a few in this position so will watch to see if I can capture the moulting. Bound to be at night though, I imagine. Is it fast or slow? I missed all those alchemical transformations from ‘pillar to pupa last time with my Commas, this could be equally fugitive.
Just in writing that, it has now straightened out with the headcase abandoned. Is it because I disturbed it? Looks like a good position for wriggling free. At this stage it is yellowish, 3cm long and 3rd or 4th moult.
I saw it convulse a couple of times so I think the moult has started, I can see fan-like structures at the ‘toes’ of the back legs which may be released skin. 11.30am. Head is hidden in leaves so difficult to see. Has eaten nothing for 2 days. Was in that curled position at base of jar day before yesterday morning, when I cleaned them, so I left it solo and decanted others. Only 2 poos since. Moving around now, no sign of loose skin!
3 more headcases in other jar (5.5) including a tiny one from the runt, pint sized one.
23 July
First pupation signs.
4+ in glass jar, did not disturb when repotting others, no eating since then. (First to emerge, 13 Aug came from this jar.)
25 July
A few days ago, I separated them into more jars as getting bigger. Some have already begun pupating, I found the beginnings of some chewed up leaves and spinning about two days ago. One jar I did not disturb as hidden under leaves and no sign of eating. The others I put down some potting earth and they seem mostly to have buried into that. There were two much smaller than the rest, one has died ( I put it in a separate bottle , I hope it was not my fault). So have 21, although only a couple are now visible.
They seem to go yellowish, fatter, rubbery and slug-like before the pupation starts.
4 in wide paper tub went into the earth after 25 July pretty quickly. 6 in white tub with leaves mixed in, similar time, poss all pupated by 27, 28 July.
29 July
I took a photo of 5 yellow grubs at the bottom of a see-through container (one had only just joined them as 4 yesterday, and one still on the surface. By this eve, two have gone that chestnut shellac colour & properly chrysalised.
3 Aug
Last one finally down. Probably ‘the runt! As several days behind others. Luckily in see-through carton so can see them all curled up through the bottom. In see-through tub: 5 down by 29 July, last one by 3 Aug. So earliest emergence = poss. 12 Aug? Holiday = 14 - 21 Aug.
13 Aug
Yes! First emergence, from glass jar, evening of 13 August, just before going on holiday. Saw it clinging to the inside of the jar, almost fully inflated at 8pm. Rigged all the others up in open containers with sticks to climb, and a shield of cardboard boxes and old perspex sheet to keep the rain off. Luckily this was intact after extremely high winds and rain, when came back on 21 Aug from holiday.
All but the final runt appear to have successfully emerged. Empty lacquer cases and signs of pink meconium release in three patches on the window frame.
Just the last one to go - I would love to see it inflate its wings.
26 Aug
Still chrysalis. Windy.
By 28 Aug had emerged and gone. A rainy day or two so I did not think it would go and did not check so closely. Thought I could see the chrysalis unchanged, but think it must have been the empty case - before I went away to the Also Festival, I checked and it was an empty case.
Summary:
87 Eggs laid 22 May 2021
Hatched 1-2 June 21
Pupated 23 Jul - 3 Aug 21
Emergence between 13 Aug - 28 Aug 21. Total 21 I think? Check. 3 months.
Eggs and Emperors
So, on 24 August the Angle Shades laid a trail of 27 tiny yellow eggs round the inside of the pot while in the fridge. Immediately alarmed and conscious-stricken, after the Skye episode where the Emperor moth suddenly buzzed out of the undergrowth, crawled on to my foot, and started laying!
I looked it up and got some e-advice and I think the simplest thing is to just leave them in the tube and let them hatch, and then feed them and try to rear some.
I wish I had a macro lens. In the last three days the eggs have already changed colour. At first they looked yellow, but through the loup they were creamy white and ridged like spiky domes. Today, a reddish brown ring has appeared round the top of most or all of them.
I did try to free a few when I found them first, and put them on a leaf in panic, but the brittleness made it feel wrong, and the next day, the leaf inevitably having curled up in the heat, I returned them to the bottle. But these ones are of course loose at the bottom of the jar, not stuck to the walls like the rest. They might even be upside down, I don't know if this makes a difference. But I will try and document the progress, and hope not to harm life along the way. Which is quite an ask. If many hatch, I will put some back in the wild and only try to rear a couple. Late August, so it might be all through the year like my first/last caterpillar.
I picked it up on Monnery Road marching along the pavement towards the bus lane. 8 July or thereabouts. ID-ed it as a Cabbage moth, very common. Kept it in the ex fish tank. It munched a bit of cabbage for a day or two, but soon pupated – its urgent march was a sign that it was ready to. And then kept watch over it, thinking it might be up and running in three weeks as I read somewhere, there still being a couple of months of summer, and Edwin was coming from the States. I put it in an old hummus pot with some earth under the bucket outside. couldn't help digging it up with a paintbrush, gently, a few times! By May, when the weather turned and we were headed for Skye, it was still firmly, chrysalid. Thinking it was bound to emerge when we were away, I propped it with some sticks to climb up, but still protected near the bonsais outside. Having probably kept it too dry under the bucket, it got SOAKED now the small dish was exposed. After Skye (which was epic moth-wise and tropical heatwave!) I felt sure it must have drowned, but no! Still, however, I managed to miss its actual emergence somehow - SO late, practically June - one day there was just a bit of shellac-y residue. At least it wasn;t parasitised, but I would have loved to have seen it emerge.
Moth eggs seem to have a sticky substance which hardens and stocks them to their surface. I found this when trying to prise the 5 Emperors eggs off my foot with a piece of paper. They stuck together in a string, almost held by a light, brittle lacquer. Internet being difficult on Skye is not a good enough excuse, but I think I caused the death of those eggs. I was so tempted to rear them and so worried that I would not succeed. We talked about 'glueing' them to a bramble with flour paste.
I carefully took them home with me. Through the loup they were conical, smooth, faintly blueish.
But they collapsed, though I kept them for about two weeks it was clear that nothing was stirring.
I don't know if they were ever fertile, but I afterwards read that you should not enclose them with any foodplant in a sealed box as it gives off gas which is likely to be fatal. Sue and Tony thought that the plane journey would do for them anyway.
The assumption is that, when we found her clinging to a grass stalk near the trap we had set on the lawn at Tokavaig, she had mated and was too heavy to fly. After photos, moving her gently to a jar and back to a flower stalk near the spot we found her, we thought she had crawled away for some shade. It was very hot, for a while she hung on the side of a wooden planter.
Several hours later, she suddenly buzzed out of the grass near there, just by my feet. It was as though she was too heavy to fly. She very determinedly crawled up onto my foot, and began to lay. I hope some were deposited in the grass or undergrowth beforehand.
5. Jersey Tigers
Night of 11 Aug 2020
21.44 The first Jersey Tiger lands.
Hot night, third or fourth in a row, 34•, thunder forecast.
Early on, already lots of ladybirds, wasps, and veneers, along with other tiny flying things. There’s a warm breeze and the wasps are very active.
The Perseids are predicted to be at their height if the sky stays clear. It is so hot I lie on the roof for as long as possible, staring up as the first stars appear, absorbing the breeze, one arm raised to block out the blue glow from the trap. Until the sky clouds over and sleepiness takes me to my bed.
24 Aug
Of the second batch of eggs found after coming back from holiday, laid I think on night of 11 August, 13 ( actually, 15) not hatched. Half have gone transparent, half milky. They may not be viable. But they could be something that overwinters as an egg, like the Dark Marbled Carpets from Skye… The others are also 13. I found them before going on holiday and put the egg boxes outside.But in packing, forgot and brought them in again.
Returning a week later, I found tiny caterpillars, two with the remnants of eggshells not yet devoured. I have placed them in two containers with both nettles and baby dandelion leaves. One lot seem more active - two on the side of the jar and some of the others I think may have expired, still on the cardboard. In the other jar they seem to have graduated to the nettles, with two visibly munching and some tiny frass. They are translucent with 4? lines of tiny darker hairs in dots along the body. The heads are an orangey colour - I think they are Jersey Tigers. So, another lot to rear, just as waiting for the final Angle Shades to go.
Found some more eggs this morning! Also a clutch of 13, yellow. Angle Shades or Pale Mottled Willow? Could it be my brood just reared already laying? The third generation? these can’t be JTs as none in the trap. This date is the anniversary of ‘the day everything was yellow’ so perhaps the eggs can be a coda to the story.
3 Sep
I have the caterpillars in 2 perspex jars. One lot of 7 appear to be thriving, 4-5mm long, though these ones are not in a hurry as they will overwinter as larvae ( if they are JTs as I think). They seem happy sheltering in the underside of the piece of egg box they were laid on and are making tiny inroads into the nettle and dandelion leaves. The other lot - I can only see 3 and think 3 tiny balls of mould may be the others! One definitely looks like the hairs at least. They may have hatched earlier than I thought and starved? Or they may be in the leaves - 2 dandelions have gone slimy and they blend in perfectly to the transparent sludge. Strange that the nettles and leaves in that jar have putrified while those in the other have not. These also have abandoned the cardboard shelter. I am leaving the leaves in in order not to risk throwing out the ‘pillars with them, though I did throw out a leaf a couple of days ago and am now regretting! I looked it over carefully, but they are so so tiny at the moment).
4 Sep
I got out the microscope. My plan was to record the stages ( I missed the first, tiny tiny, except for some not too sharp on my phone and P’s I think too). Looking closely at the seven on the underside of the cardboard, who have been inert for a few days, some are darker and some more lemony transparent. They have lengthened and are 4-6mm long. The microscope shows me clearly the minute headcase and sliver of ashy skin next to one of the darker ones, that is the first skin shedding. The head case is barely visible with the naked eye, microns across ( I will have to measure it later!) By the position, I wonder if the darker ones have moulted and the paler still about to?
The microscope is so shaky and I have to hold it so close to the creatures that I don’t want to harm them, but I can see at least three headcases. The darker ones have a black head and a more pronounced darker stripe down either side of a central dorsal yellow , with some side spot which are darker (spiracles?)
I planned to transfer the three ‘pillars from the other jar, that I can clearly see stretched out on the sides, to this one, so that I am confident how many are in at least one jar. Then I could wait and see if anything else is stirring in the dried nettles and dandelion ooze. Now I think the ‘piles of mould’ I saw yesterday were in fact skin sheddings, three of them - and I wonder if I may have thrown out the other caterpillars on the dead nettle which I removed previously.
Why do I never learn? The temporary ceasing of eating activity, the ‘lying motho’ inert for a few days is a sign of skin shedding. I have now seen it at least four times with other species I have watched over (reared seems too controlling a word - though I have trapped them and fed them only).
In the jar with three I can now see with the microscope that one stretched out on the lid has clearly a shed skin and a minuscule head case next to it. I manage to photograph these thanks to its useful position on the perspex.
I am going to leave them alone - I have thrown away the piece of cardboard with the ‘mould’ on it, but I just don’t know if the other three ‘pillars are still in there, and my meddling - and assumptions - are not adding to their security! We may be down to ten.
The other eggs are still eggs, 15 in one jar and 10 in the other. I let them open when we went away for the weekend over Bank Holiday, and I think three may have been eaten by something, or else I miscounted. So, the 15 were laid 24 days ago. The 10 are now 12 days old.
5 Sep
I can definitely see 5 caterpillars in the ‘slimy’ jar - relief! One is still stretched on the lid next to its shedding, 2 are on the side walls as per yesterday. One darker one is on the tiny fresh dandelion leaf, and one is next to the slimy stalk of the old leaf. Phew! A good chance that the sixth may be in there somewhere.
In the other jar, they are all still immobile underneath the egg box.
21 Sep
The darker 7 under the egg box do not seem to have fed, or moved for two weeks. One has died, it was tiny and shrunken on the base of the jar the day before yesterday and I have now removed it.
In the other jar, there are four clinging to the sides, a couple have moved a little bit, but one, on the side wall seems tiny and immobile and may also be dead. A fifth was on a dandelion leaf, and as I have not seen the sixth for some time I cleaned out the other dessicated leaves and placed them in a separate little container. I am fairly certain here is nothing living there but then, where are the bodies?
So, only six in the ‘dark’ jar, and five in the other now - one of which may have expired. Down to eleven, possibly ten,
Do they go into a torpor through the winter or do they keep feeding? I think I read the latter so need a bit more information to know how to care for them. I found a blog on the Amateur Entomological Society ( ! ) of someone rearing Tigers who said he knew of no-one who had not lost Jerseys over the winter, or successfully reared them.
Later that afternoon, I took the microscope to photograph the dead one from the dark jar. Difficult to get a good pic as just a small dark speck. However, on deciding to have a clean out of my mortuary, I went through the dried leaves from the other lighter jar removed earlier, and found the other caterpillar. At first ,I thought it too was dead, as curled up motionless in a tiny ball (and could have been there for a day or two) but, putting it under the microscope I could see tiny movement, as if breathing in its sleep. This could be a breeze perhaps, but it did not look dried up, so I placed it in the dark jar this time (magical thinking? As they seem to be stronger?) on top of a dandelion leaf. I don't fancy its chances, but perhaps it will survive.
24 Sep
The caterpillar joined the others under the egg-box and is indistinguishable from the others, so there are seven again in that jar. Signs of feeding again today, tiny frass under the dandelion leaf. I left the other box outside the shelter a little by accident, and there has been heavy rain, but it seemed unharmed. I noticed yesterday that the one on the side wall that I mentioned had fallen off and was definitely expired. I had meant to clear it out yesterday and got distracted. So, by leaving the box out in the light it has possibly changed the behaviour of the four remaining caterpillars. Usually they stretch out on the perspex sides and lid for some reason, but now they have hidden away. Also signs of frass and one eating on the underside of the leaf. So I wondered if my cardboard shelter (to keep the rain off) is blocking out too much light and keeping them in perpetual gloom? I have removed it. Will gather more food plants today. I wonder if the weather change has had any effect on their eating?
11 October
The caterpillars have been mostly inert, with sporadic patches of feeding. There is much more frass in the bottle with 7, which I suppose is to be expected, but very little sign of feeding in the bottle of four. One has been on a dandelion leaf for a few days, the other three have crawled to the roof. Today I can see that one has shed its skin again here.
12 Nov
First signs of shedding skins. The new caterpillars are 8mm long, the skins shed shrivel to less than 3 or 4. See photos.
January 2021
I carry on feeding them nettles picked from the Parkland Walk and they very slowly grow. On 24th, my birthday, it snows. But they survive, wrapped in newspaper in their perspex jars on the terrace.
3 April
Another shedding, the caterpillars are now fat and hairy, with white bristles and a clear orange stripe down the spine of the black body, which is covered in yellow warts. From the side, they have a set of white spots in between the warts against black. The shed skins stick to the roof of the container like tiny Chinese lions, standing up on their haunches.
17 April
Another set of shed skins, though if this is a later batch or another stage already I cannot tell. I forgot to measure them but they are about 2-3 cm at least.
26 April
More shed skins. The black head cases are large enough now to be clearly scrutinised. They come off with some hairs intact.
7 May
Eating voraciously on nettles and growing fat. I began to feed them dandelions too, and they devour the flower heads, burying themselves in the mane leaving just a ruff of petals around the edge.
27 May
The first one began to spin a cocoon on the side of the box. This one did not survive.
4 June
On returning from Gillingham (Dad’s racked rib episode) there have been some casualties. Either I did not feed them sufficiently to get them all through the week away, thought I stuffed the containers full and gave Paul instructions to keep an eye, or something happened with the temperature perhaps. Two died, one had got halfway to chrysalising and was stuck in a kind of rigid half ‘pillar half shellac entity. Only five made it through the process. (I think there were 5 chrysallised successfully, but it may have been four.)
I left these in open shallow yoghurt pots on a bed of dry earth, covered with some light leaves, and with sticks to help them crawl out, and sheltered by the perspex sheet against rain, and the cardboard box beneath this against sunlight. We went to Scotland
5 July
We went to Edinburgh and Shetland 14 - 28 June. I spent one night at home (had one emerged?) and went straight down to Gillingham.
The red one with the mangled wings emerged on 5 July, or had when I got back anyway. The second paler which also could not fly was spotted on 6 July. It was the one with the caterpillar skin still attached to the end of the chrysalis.
They both hung around on the terrace, and it took me a couple of days to realise that they were maimed. I thought the first one had just emerged and would inflate its wings but no. The orange/yellow one looked normal with wings shut, but clearly could not flutter far. I put them both together on the window ledge at one time to see if they might interact, but they did not seem to show any signs. After three days, the red one seemed to make a dash for it as far as the top of the ladder, and I did not see it again.
The yellow one is the one that survived longest, living on the bonsai tree for a month. I inadvertently hampered it further by lifting it on a leaf to observe and photograph in the first week, and it flew up into a spider’s web which entangled its hind wings. I rescued it and carefully removed what web I could with a cocktail stick, even trying to gently separate the upper and lower wings to see if it would liberate movement, but they seemed firmly stuck together (later I saw the dent in the chrysalis). After this, it could fly even less strongly, and seemed to lurk around the base of the pots in the shade. I tried mixing a weak solution of honey and water to see if it might feed, but I am not sure if they even have the apparatus as adults. I did this once before for a Peacock moth and it drank as if desperate, I have a film of it.
Finally expired on 4 August. Found it stuck down by snail slime to the rock, and the body had been hollowed out to an empty shell. Eerily, one of its legs continued to twitch for about half an hour, as if it was not quite dead.
Third one - flew unspotted, I hope it was intact, never saw it.
The fourth, the one which was in its silken cocoon did not emerge, and when I unwrapped the cocoon after a number of days I could see that it had failed to develop after some time, was dented and was beginning to show specks of white mould. So, two maimed creatures, and I hope, one healthy one? How does that compare to the survival in the wild I wonder?
I wonder if I did not give them room to inflate their wings? They were protected by a cardboard box as shading, but had sticks to climb out of their shallow yoghurt pots. Looking back at the photos of the chrysalises, there is a dent discernable on the yellow one which became the longest living of the two impaired flyers. This was in the same place as where its wings appear to have been stuck together. It could flutter quite a distance. The other, red, beautiful one had clearly not fully inflated the wings, and they were curled like those diseased but gorgeous tulips, or some gathered silk fabric.
4 August last one finally perished.
6 days off a full year cycle.
– Friends have started sending me pictures of Jersey tigers landing in their gardens. They seem prolific this year. I have avoided doing the moth trap because of the trauma of last year and the wasps.
6. Light Emerald, Campaea margaritata
13 Sep 2021
I set a moth trap last night, 13 September, but it started raining before 6am. The rain woke me dripping on the skylight at a quarter to. I went up onto the roof and it was still too dark to see, so head torch and sunglasses against the UV lights.
Lots of Box-Tree moths, a dozen I think, and about half of them the melanic version, electric purple-infused black where the others are white with a deep black border.
I rescued a small Light Emerald which had got bogged down in a puddle. The book says the second brood is smaller and darker - this one is tiny alright, but pale and fresh-coloured. I bottled it to photograph and dry out from the drenching, and put it in the fridge. The rain set in heavily and will be so all day, so I had to abandon the rest of the trap inspection - could not photograph things, or let them free in this heavy rain. I hope it will ease before tonight or else I might have to try again to ID, bottle and photograph in the pouring rain. I think they are safest in amongst the damp egg boxes for now.
In the fridge the Light Emerald has laid 21 eggs. It looks as if its wings, the lower and the upper on the left hand side have become stuck together, or possibly did not fully inflate on emergence. The tips are a little creased and gathered as my maimed Jersey Tiger was, though not as extreme, and it sits with them upright in the cold of the fridge. I wonder if these eggs are fertilised? Do they lay if not?
I hoped it might dry out and the wings separate but now I wonder if I should take it out of the cold, it has been in there for 6 hours.
So another potential rearing cycle may begin - I hope so. (There is also a Barred Hook Tip which is a first for me.)
The rain eased at lunchtime and I went up to check on the moths. Many had crammed themselves into the egg boxes and so I managed to carry most down the ladder and shelter them on the flat board that used to be the base of the Skinner trap on the terrace. The light Emerald eventually spread out its wings on one side, but the other, the left seemed stuck together. It must be able to fly though, because it got to the roof, and took itself off in the evening. There was a huge Old Lady too.
I also have a White Ermine caterpillar which was crawling to pupate on 1 September just outside the front door. I put it in a yoghurt pot with plenty of dead leaves and the detritus from under the ivy hedge and I think it has buried itself deep to chrysalise. Again, I hope that I have not jeopardised its chances by intercepting it in order to try and see the emergence - it is sheltered outside under the metal mini table and against the corner of the terrace, covered by perspex against water logging. (This emerged sometime in mid May 2022 but I didn’t see it)
17 Sep
After three days, many of the Light Emerald eggs have turned a rosy colour, from the pale but bright yellow of before. When I look closely with the loop, they are flecked with red dots, almost like the seeds of a strawberry. I forgot to take a picture of them when fresh, but will try to get these under the microscope though the tube may not allow a very good picture.
Aargh, just realised it is not installed on this computer - and, no slot to put the disk in! Luckily technical support is back tonight!
28 Sep
The eggs hatched while I was on Fair Isle, on the 28 September. Paul sent pics by text.
“In lunch box surrounded by food plants with twigs. They have blackthorn, hawthorn, oak and birch” 280921
He gave them a variety of food plants to choose from - blackthorn hawthorn, oak and birch (but neglected to wash them, so they came with added spiders, mites, aphids and a slug like larva which I kept in there. It seemed to pupate but then desiccated and did not emerge. I wonder if it ate any of the larvae?
10 Oct
I can only see three tiny caterpillars although I thought there were four in the new container. Still tiny and threadlike. Long and translucent faintly green with a browner central stripe. Today all 3 visible are on the older original birch leaves although there is some nibbling on one of the newer branch leaves. With the loupe, I can see one stretched out with what appears to be the tiny head case next to it - the first shedding?
15 Oct
Definitely only three caterpillars. Refreshed the birch leaves and took some photos.
Possibly more than 2 cm long but translucent and very thin. Pattern of alternating green and brown segments up the body.
18 Oct
Added some fresh leaves and think I saw the fourth caterpillar
28 Oct
Have been adding leaves occasionally. There are definitely four. They are a little bit thicker now, no longer translucent but now a darker grey colour, and slightly more rubbery looking, with the flat back clasping false legs beginning to show. They lie close along the stem, stretched out to about 1.7cm. I wonder if this is a dormant period or working up to a skin shedding? There is a powdering of tiny frass and more obvious holes in the birch leaves now.
31 Oct
They have been stretched along the stems for a good few days now, though a few signs of frass. The guidebook says they will grow fringe-like appendages. Wondering if they will continue eating sporadically, or go into a diapause as the leaves will disappear soon.
21 Nov
Still stretching themselves along the thin stems of the birch twigs. Growing very slowly, and the dusting of frass continues. With a loupe I can see the beginnings of the fringe-like skirt of bristles appearing. This reminds me of woodlouse a little, though the colour is redder. They are no more than 2cm long.
22 Nov
Measured them and 3 are 1.6cm, one is only 1.1cm. The foodplant tree leaves are yellowing now, I add a few more every few days. I have had a bad cold since Tuesday, my first day out of the house for 5 days this morning. I wonder if they will stop eating and not grow through December and Jan? They look well-camouflaged on the purple red stems, each aligned for a lengthy duration.
30 Nov
I went to Nottingham for the Fashion Fictions workshops. I can’t remember if it was before or after this that there was a cold snap and I wrapped the perspex boxes in some newspaper to shield them from the cold. It may have been the night before I left that I looked at the caterpillars, and two were dangling from threads and quite active. One had become a runt, stunted in growth and it and another were still aligned along their birch twigs.
1 Dec
When I came back from Nottingham in the evening, these two were on the bottom of the box. one was clearly dead, and the other was on its side, still moving slightly. I tried to lift it with a paintbrush carefully onto a branch but the next day it too was dead. The runt, which had been clinging to a branch, was sticking out at a strange angle, and its head was a cloudy burst of mould. It reminded me in its posture of those strange parasitised moth carcasses that are collected in Tibet as a kind of special medicine - a tiny version of that, standing up weirdly and slightly crooked. (Get pic).
I now think the spinning was a response to the cold, they may have been trying to lower themselves to a warmer place. But, though there were plenty of leaves and thin stalks, there was perhaps not enough shelter for them.
So, one remained, immobile on its stalk. I had a small hope that it might live, and wrapped it again against the cold, and we went to Snowdonia for Lawrence and Sue's birthday - left two days later on 4th and came back on 8th.
Of course, it did not survive, so - no more light Emerald caterpillars. In clearing out the jar I found another tiny head case, so perhaps they were moulting when stretched immobile on the stalks. I think it was the cold, but perhaps they have a change of behaviour when the leaves become inedible, and crawl/abseil to a different place for overwintering? But I have found pictures on the internet of older instars still doing the longitudinal clinging to a branch.
Again, perhaps my ignorance killed them. I did think it would be difficult to get them through the winter though - so tiny, delicate as even the mother was.
7. Pieris Rapae –Winter Butterfly. A coda.
19 November 2022
My next door neighbour sends me a WhatsApp saying “We have a new lodger”.
The picture is of a Small White butterfly, Pieris rapae, canary yellow in its newly emerged state. They found it perched on a piece of fruit inside their fridge, where it hatched, they assume, and flew out when the door was opened.
(I ‘grew’ a similar one from a caterpillar found on broccoli from Tesco, which emerged in early September, and stumbled upon the 2020 Twitter feed of a radio DJ, who in identical circumstances, began to publish videos of the stages of development of seven ‘Cabbage Whites’ while having a lively conversation with Tesco about their ‘hygiene’ and being covered in the Daily Mail…
Ten days later I find the butterfly (it must be the same one?) resting on the wall outside my front door. I remember how, a few years ago, my posting a December sighting of a Holly Blue on Twitter caused a stir among lepidopterists, possibly a record. But already, these late sightings have become commonplace, and third broods, regular in the United States, are a more frequent part of their phenology in Britain. But how will it feed or mate at this time of year?
Two weeks later the snow comes. Here on the hill in north London it lies more than four inches thick and does not melt for several days. Venturing out after three days, I find the path icy and thick globs of snow on the unprotected lemon tree outside my door. And sheltered in the lee of this pot where the snow has not settled, I see the body of a butterfly. At first I think it must be a different one because of the colour and pattern of the spots, more of the shaded black is visible now. But picking it up (I cannot resist) I see that the wings are folded down below the body, covering the legs, and showing the upper side usually seen in flight, not as when held perched upright in life. I recognise this death pose from other casualties of my acquaintance in the moth traps, a rigor mortis contraction giving the appearance of a stop frame moment in flight, a downward thrust at the point of utmost exertion. My neighbour passes and I show her the fate of her ex-lodger. The wings are a little torn, the body has a suggestion of light blue fur, and the middle section is completely flat as if squeezed between two fingers. I add this little corpse to my collection.
New Year’s Eve 2022
I open a bag of kale from Lincolnshire and begin stripping the leaves from their thick stalks. The leaves are crenellated and full, frilling up to hide the stalk, and I work by pressure, running my thumb up the central vein and pulling sideways. (My friend has no lights in their kitchen, so used to doing everything by Tilly lamp that they no longer notice!)
I feel a soft resistance, and a large pea rolls out of the leaf onto the wooden board. I shriek.
My mind replays the moment of pressure, while my friend demands to know the cause of my alarm. The pea is too large, too soft, and I already know that I have done something horrible. A curled green caterpillar with its head tucked firmly in brace position, leaks a pale green fluid onto the chopping board. Probably the larva of the cabbage moth, Mamestra brassicae, though first I think of Pieris rapae, the Small White butterfly, because of those of previous fridge stories.
I do not look too closely, or photograph it as I might have done previously. My friend provides a tray to ‘rehabilitate’ the invalid, but, glancing at the smear of green coating my thumb, a brief wave of selfish regret passes through my solar plexus at the loss of a potential thing to nourish through the winter. We consign it to the compost, and my friend talks knowingly about the greater odds of ‘parasitism in the wild’ (I have taught them this).
Seven years of practices and admonitions about sensitivity and I have yet again damaged a living thing. As if to rub in that the lesson has still to be learned, incorporated into bodily understanding. Though that thought itself is anthropocentric, suggesting that this has happened to, and for me. I am not suggesting that there will not be more-than-human casualties in our daily passages through life. Can we all be Jains in a future world? Will we come to see even innovations such as vegan activist Stella MacCartney’s work with colour-fixing microbes REF - Bolt fabrics? V & A exhib) as an extension of violence to other life forms?
I may be accused of obsessing about tiny details. But my attention has been drawn to reflecting on these interactions because of my chosen area of research. I may be more careful in dealing with shop-bought brassicas, now I know how common their inclusion of ‘companions’ can be. Should I be encouraged at the sign of more extensive organic practices which this may point to? Cultural attitudes in Britain were formed when insects were so abundant that the occasional cull seemed no threat to them, ‘swatting things away like flies’ shows how commonplace this is. I also accept an amount of attrition, including the targeting of clothes moths at home, ‘the wrong kind of moth’ (though I take care to prevent them). Perhaps this encounter marks the end of a focus on the micro scale, the minutiae, for me, and a turning to how to translate this into something meaningful on a wider scale. We cause damage by living, but it is not a competition, a zero-sum game, and becoming aware of where and when it matters on an ecological scale is the area I would like to focus on.